Poem for Paxton: June 9, 2010

I am posting this today bc I am writing her eulogy. I’ve never written one before. I hope I do ok. Trying to focus. 

Poem for Paxton

The Shawl from Palestine

 
I saw it there in the store
it was a deep deep blue
 
almost black
much darker and deeper a color
than you normally wear
 
hand woven by 
the women of Palestine
the tag said, maroon thread
 
I wanted to get it for you
wrap it around your always cold shoulders
I looked at it for a very long time
 
why hadn’t I collected the money for a gift 
I berated, debated
put it down and walked away
 
left the store
walked in the rain
 
thought about all you had given
thought about all you had seen
thought about how much you had lost 
thought about how much you loved
thought about how much you believe
 
Faith had found you on the Wailing Wall
Faith had found you behind the stone
Faith had found you already sewn into the threads 
the women had woven
 
It was too deep and dark a blue
so I chose this silken purse from Vietnam
Especially For You
 
Much Love,
Heidi
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Sagittarius

I have come to love horrorscopes. I love them for several reasons, including that they can make some people puff with superiority so quickly. Yes, apparently some are too good for some good old fashioned fun with the stars and the moons and the Neptune in the rising sector of Uranus.

hemountaintop

Years ago I found these and have read them every week since. I love them. 😀 And I read this weeks over and over and over! Happy Valentimes to all!

Lots of Love,

Heidi

From Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology:

“This Valentine season, meditate on the relentlessness of your yearning for love. Recognize the fact that your eternal longing will never leave you in peace. Accept that it will forever delight you, torment you, inspire you, and bewilder you — whether you are alone or in the throes of a complicated relationship. Understand that your desire for love will just keep coming and coming and coming, keeping you slightly off-balance and pushing you to constantly revise your ideas about who you are. Now read this declaration from the poet Rilke and claim it as your own: “My blood is alive with many voices that tell me I am made of longing.”

-Rob Breszny Sagittarius Feb 2013

Also I learned Rilke from this! Never knew before! Here’s a link to his poems. 

handball

They were talking of books

And I was tired of books

Tired of cooking

Of being clever

Of wearing the right shoes

With the right outfits

Tired of the right places

And the right drinks

With the right people

Tired of it all

Now

They were on to Brasil

And Dubrovnik

“This time of year”

Oh have you been and how I must go

No

I hadn’t been

and would probably never go

Or read it

Or buy that right bag

Did they ever tire

of the one-up-man’s ship?

or were they infinitely energized

by the competition

of building their travel resumes

so I can say “impressive”

when they hand it to me on the right beach

No

I want to drink Budweiser

And listen to muzak

While shooting peanut shells

Into a makeshift goal

“score” I’ll say and they’ll laugh

and ask, “have you ever played handball

in Iceland?”

And I’ll say no again.

-Aug 14, 2008

Stars

Nov 14, 2008

stars

In the kitchen I feel like things can happen

It’s a deep red and a federal blue

I added the stars

After Obama on Tuesday

My horrorscope tells me it’s time to see signs

I used to see them all the time but then my more rational side won

There’s no such things as signs, he said

And then he spilled his drink

I remember this from two years ago

A little over two and a half if I was counting.

I live across from the church now. they’re reformed.

According to my feng sui

It’s in the quadrant of my life path

Shit. I thought I’d just go regular ‘ol lady, not religious ‘ol lady

Cakes

I stopped baking two years ago

It’s good for my ego

Somewhere, this

All makes sense in the stars